Missionary Position – Everything You Need to Know
Missionary position is one of the oldest, most loved, and most written-about sex positions in the world.
It is a classic for a reason.
For many couples, missionary is the very first position they ever try together.
It is simple and natural.
It allows you to be close, to look each other in the eyes, and to feel every kiss and every breath.
Missionary is not just about one person lying on top of the other.
When done right, it can be deeply intimate, romantic, and even intense.
It is a position that can be slow and loving one moment and passionate and powerful the next.
What makes missionary so interesting is how versatile it can be.
You can keep it gentle for deep emotional connection, or you can change angles, wrap legs, add pillows, and completely transform the feeling.
Small adjustments can turn basic missionary into a mind-blowing experience for both partners.
This position also has a long and fascinating history.
It has been drawn, described, and celebrated in many cultures for thousands of years, not just for making babies but also for building intimacy and pleasure.
In this guide, we will go far beyond the basics.
You will discover why missionary position feels so good for both men and women, the benefits for emotional connection, the common mistakes to avoid, and tips for making it even better.
We will also talk about variations you can try tonight, when missionary might not work perfectly, and why it continues to be a favorite even in modern times.
Whether you are a couple looking to make your first time special or partners who have been together for years and want to rediscover this classic, this guide will show you everything you need to know to make missionary position exciting, intimate, and unforgettable.
A Short History of Missionary Position
The term missionary position is thought to have come from Christian missionaries in the 19th century who encouraged couples to have sex “face to face” because they believed it was the most proper way for making babies.
However, the position itself is much older. Ancient art from Egypt, India and Greece shows couples having sex in this exact position thousands of years ago.
In the Kama Sutra, the famous ancient Indian text about love and pleasure, several versions of missionary are described.
It was seen as a loving position because it allows partners to see each other, kiss and connect emotionally while having sex.
So even though the name might sound a little strict or boring, missionary position has always been about intimacy and closeness.
How to Do Missionary Position
Missionary is simple, but the small details make a big difference.
Here is a clear walkthrough you can follow and tweak to fit your bodies and your mood.
Step by step
- The receiving partner lies on their back. Knees can be bent or legs relaxed and slightly apart. Take a breath and settle into a comfortable position.
- The penetrating partner comes on top, face to face. Place hands or forearms beside your partner’s shoulders or ribs to support your weight. Keep your core engaged so you are not resting all your weight on them.
- Start with shallow penetration and slow movement. Let your hips find a natural rhythm before going deeper. Check in with eye contact or a quiet yes.
- Adjust the angle. A small pillow under the bottom partner’s hips tilts the pelvis and often makes penetration feel deeper and more pleasurable. A folded towel also works.
- Keep connection alive. Kiss, breathe together, and talk. Missionary makes it easy to share what feels good and what you want next.
Fine tuning for comfort and pleasure
- Weight and support: The partner on top should keep some weight in the arms or elbows. Think of hovering rather than pressing down. Rest your chest against theirs for closeness, then lift again to change the sensation.
- Hips and angle: Tiny changes matter. Tuck the top partner’s pelvis slightly to change the line of thrust. The bottom partner can tilt the hips up or down to guide the angle that feels best.
- Leg positions:
- Legs flat for a gentle, open feeling.
- Knees bent with feet on the bed for more lift and control.
- Ankles around the partner’s waist to pull them closer.
- Calves on the partner’s shoulders for a deeper angle. Go slow and add cushions for lower back support.
- Hands and touch: The top partner can cup the bottom partner’s hips, cradle the face, or hold hands beside the head. The bottom partner can guide the pace by holding the top partner’s hips or lower back.
- Rhythm and breathing: Start slow. Try three slow strokes and one deeper stroke. Try a few short strokes followed by one long stroke. Sync your breathing to keep arousal steady and to last longer.
- Clitoral stimulation: Missionary is perfect for it. The bottom partner can use a hand or a small toy between bodies. You can also grind the pubic bone against the clitoris by keeping hips close and moving in a gentle circular motion rather than only in and out.
- Edge of bed trick: Have the bottom partner lie near the edge while the top partner stands or kneels on the floor. This creates space for a smoother thrust and a fresh angle.
- Pillow trick: A pillow or wedge under the hips lifts the pelvis, often increasing G spot contact and comfort. Start with a thin pillow and adjust as needed.
- Lube and pace: Add lubricant even if you feel wet. It reduces friction and helps you stay in a slow, sensual rhythm without discomfort. Change speed and depth during the session so it never feels mechanical.
- Communication: Use short phrases. Softer. Deeper. Stay there. Right there. These tiny cues keep you connected and make adjustments easy.
Getting in and out of the position
- To enter smoothly, the top partner can guide with a hand and press hips forward slowly while the bottom partner exhales and relaxes the pelvic floor.
- To exit, slow the rhythm, pause while still close, and switch to cuddling or a new position without rushing. This keeps the intimacy intact.
Safety and inclusivity notes
- Missionary can be adapted for many bodies. Cushions support knees, lower back, and neck. If wrists get tired, place forearms on the mattress and keep elbows bent.
- If either partner feels pressure in the lower back or hips, lower the pillow height or switch to bent knees.
- Condoms and lube work well in this position because you have both hands free to adjust and check comfort at any time.
Use these tweaks as a menu. Try one change at a time, notice what it does, and keep what feels best for both of you. Missionary shines when you treat it as a living position rather than a single fixed pose.
Adding a pillow under the hips changes everything – it lifts the pelvis, deepens penetration, and makes missionary feel even better for both partners.
Why Missionary Position Feels Good for Men
For many men, missionary is one of the easiest and most satisfying positions to enjoy.
It feels natural and comfortable, and it gives them control over depth, rhythm, and speed.
This control lets them slow things down and last longer if they want to, or speed things up when the moment feels right.
One of the biggest advantages is full-body contact.
Chest to chest, hips pressed together, legs intertwined – missionary offers an unmatched sense of closeness.
For many men, this makes the experience not just physical but deeply intimate.
The warmth of skin-to-skin contact and the ability to feel their partner’s breath, heartbeat, and every little movement can be incredibly erotic.
Missionary is also a very visual position.
Men can watch their partner’s facial expressions, see their pleasure building, and enjoy the emotional connection that comes with looking into each other’s eyes.
They can kiss easily, whisper in their partner’s ear, and read subtle cues that guide them to move in a way that feels good for both.
Another reason men enjoy missionary is because it allows them to experiment with angles and sensations.
Changing the tilt of the hips or shifting weight forward or backward can create a new feeling each time.
This flexibility keeps the position from becoming routine and lets men stay engaged in the moment.
Finally, missionary position can be deeply satisfying emotionally.
It can make men feel close, protective, and fully present with their partner.
It is a position where passion, care, and connection can mix in a way that is both tender and intensely arousing.
Why Missionary Position Feels Good for Women
Missionary is not just about penetration – it is also about connection and intimacy.
For many women, this is one of the most emotionally satisfying positions because it allows face-to-face closeness, easy kissing, and gentle touching.
Being able to see a partner’s face, hear every breath, and feel completely surrounded can make sex feel safer and more loving, which often leads to more arousal.
One of the biggest advantages for women is how easily missionary can be adjusted for pleasure.
A slight tilt of the pelvis or placing a pillow under the hips can change the angle enough to stimulate the G-spot and create a deeper, fuller feeling.
This is why many women find that missionary, done with the right angle, feels incredibly satisfying and even leads to more frequent orgasms.
Missionary also makes it simple to add clitoral stimulation.
The bottom partner can use their hand or a small vibrator, or the top partner can reach down and stimulate the clitoris during penetration.
Even the natural grinding of pelvis against pelvis can be enough to create constant clitoral contact, which is essential for most women to reach orgasm.
Because missionary allows both partners to stay so close, it is also perfect for slow, sensual sex.
Women often enjoy the feeling of being taken slowly, with time to build arousal, enjoy deep kissing, and let their body fully relax into the experience.
This slow build can make the final orgasm much more intense.
Another reason many women love missionary is that it allows them to be active or passive, depending on the mood.
They can relax completely and let their partner set the pace, or they can move their hips, wrap their legs around their partner, and take control of the rhythm.
This flexibility means the position can feel different every time, depending on what she needs in that moment.
Emotionally, missionary helps women feel seen and desired.
The eye contact, whispered words, and physical closeness can make the experience feel personal and loving rather than purely physical.
For many women, this combination of emotional intimacy and physical pleasure is what makes missionary such a favorite position – it satisfies both the body and the heart.
Common Mistakes with Missionary
Missionary may look simple, but a few small habits can make it feel less exciting than it should be.
Here are some of the most common mistakes couples make – and how to turn them into opportunities for even better sex:
Too Much Weight on the Bottom Partner
One of the biggest mistakes is when the partner on top lets all of their weight rest on the person underneath.
This can make the bottom partner feel squished, distracted, or even a little uncomfortable.
How to fix it:
Keep some of your weight in your arms or elbows and engage your core muscles to hover slightly.
This lets your partner breathe freely and move their hips.
If you want closeness, you can still let your chest rest against theirs for a moment, then push up again to change the angle and give them room.
No Movement from the Bottom Partner
Many people think the person on the bottom just has to stay still, but missionary is much better when both partners are active.
How to fix it:
The bottom partner can tilt the pelvis, lift hips slightly, or wrap legs around the top partner to change the depth of penetration.
They can also rock their hips in slow circles or pull the partner closer when they want more pressure.
This makes the experience more interactive and helps both partners feel more in sync.
Keeping the Same Rhythm
Doing the same thrusts at the same speed for too long can make missionary feel mechanical.
How to fix it:
Change things up – slow down for a few strokes, then go deeper.
Try shallow thrusts followed by a deep one.
Pause to grind hips together or stay completely still for a moment before starting again.
This teasing rhythm builds anticipation and makes the eventual orgasm much more intense.
Forgetting the Upper Body
Missionary is about more than just what happens below the waist. Some couples forget to use their hands, lips, and voices.
How to fix it:
Kiss often. Whisper something sexy or encouraging. Touch each other’s faces, hair, and sides.
This brings the focus back to intimacy and makes the position feel less routine and more emotional.
Not Using Props
Many people never think to add a pillow or folded blanket under the hips – and miss out on how much better it can feel.
How to fix it:
Experiment with different pillow heights until you find the angle that hits just right.
A simple change like this can make missionary feel completely new.
Advantages of Missionary Position
- Perfect for kissing, eye contact, and emotional connection.
- Allows lots of skin-to-skin contact, which releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone).
- Comfortable for most people and does not require much flexibility.
- Great for slow, sensual lovemaking or passionate, intense sex.
- Easy to talk, whisper, or share fantasies during sex.
Disadvantages of Missionary Position
- Can become routine if it is the only position used.
- The person on top does most of the physical work, which can be tiring.
- Some women find the angle does not always give enough stimulation without adjustment.
- It may feel too intimate for some people who prefer less eye contact.
Legs-up missionary creates a deeper angle and more pressure on the G-spot – perfect for when you want more intensity.
Ways to Make Missionary Position More Exciting
Missionary does not have to be plain or routine – with just a few small adjustments, it can become one of the hottest and most intimate positions you share. Here are some creative ways to upgrade this classic:
Add a Pillow Under the Hips
Placing a pillow or folded blanket under the hips of the receiving partner changes the angle of penetration, often hitting the G-spot and making every movement feel deeper and more intense.
Experiment with pillow height – even a small lift can completely change how the position feels.
Wrap the Legs Around Your Partner
Instead of letting your legs stay flat on the bed, wrap them around your partner’s waist or lower back.
This pulls their body closer, increases friction, and lets you control the depth and rhythm of penetration.
For an even more intense feeling, cross your ankles behind your partner or squeeze your thighs together as you move.
Try the Butterfly Variation
The butterfly is a sexy twist on classic missionary.
Have the bottom partner lie close to the edge of the bed with legs raised and resting on the top partner’s shoulders.
This position creates a new angle for penetration, can feel much deeper, and also allows for slower, controlled thrusts.
Add a pillow under the lower back for comfort and to avoid strain.
Slow It Down
Missionary is perfect for slow, sensual sex.
Instead of rushing, focus on long, deep strokes and let the tension build.
Maintain eye contact, kiss often, and take moments to pause completely still before moving again.
This teasing build-up can lead to stronger orgasms for both partners.
Talk During Sex
Words can make missionary even more intimate.
Whisper what you are feeling, tell your partner what you want, or ask them to guide you.
Hearing encouragement or soft moans can be incredibly arousing and keeps both partners fully present in the moment.
Experiment with Tempo and Rhythm
Switch between slow, deep thrusts and quicker, lighter ones.
Try three short strokes followed by one long, deep stroke.
This keeps your partner guessing and heightens anticipation.
Engage the Whole Body
Use your hands to hold your partner’s face, caress their hair, or trace their sides.
Kiss different parts of their body – their neck, shoulders, collarbone.
When you bring more of the body into the experience, missionary stops being “just a position” and becomes a full-body connection.
The Bottom Line
Missionary position is a classic for a reason.
It is intimate, versatile, and can be as gentle or as intense as you want it to be.
With a few small adjustments and a little creativity, it can stay exciting even for couples who have been together for years.
So next time you are in the mood, try missionary with fresh eyes.
Add a pillow, slow down, watch each other, and see how this simple position can become one of the most passionate experiences you share.
If you want to explore even more together, you can find plenty of inspiration in our Just Us – Couple Intimacy Guide section.
Inside you will find three different ways to connect:
💋 Couple Playful Games – some of our games include fun little challenges where one partner has to show how they would make love in missionary position. It is meant to be playful, a way to laugh and tease each other while getting turned on.
💗 Intimate Couple Guides – step-by-step experiences that start with talking, build with touch and massage, and end with passionate sex. In several of these guides, missionary position is part of the journey, giving you a guided way to rediscover this classic.
💞 Couple Emotional Intimacy – exercises that help you talk, reflect, and feel closer than ever, so that when you do make love, it feels even more meaningful.
Whether you are looking for a playful game or a guided intimate experience, this is where you will find ideas to turn missionary into more than just a position, into a way to reconnect with your partner.
💋 Want inspiration for your next hot night?
✨ JUST US – Couple Intimacy Guides
Not stories you read, but guided moments you live together.
💋 Couple Playful Games – Fun and flirty activities that spark laughter and desire.
💞 Couple Emotional Guides – Conversations and reflections that deepen trust.
💗 Couple Intimate Guides – Step by step moments that start with soft touch, build into passion, and reach a climax you’ll both remember.
💑 PLAY TOGETHER – You read one part, your partner reads the other.
👉 Try a couple’s scenario here
🔥 SOLO PLEASURE – Stories made for your private time.
👉 Explore sensual solo stories for him & her
Get access to our exclusive VIP collection – deeper stories, longer scenes, more heat.
👉 Join here
Free RolePlay stories, perfect for couples – whether you’re in the same room or miles apart:
👉 Read Here
Your fantasy starts with a conversation.
And sometimes, that’s all you need. 🔥
💡 Want More Tips to Keep the Spark Alive?
Join our newsletter and get the best intimacy tips, playful ideas, and new articles straight to your inbox.
Subscribers also get early previews, secret discount codes, and sometimes even free access to our guides for a day.
Missionary Position – Everything You Need to Know post is brought to you by the creators of RolePlayInBed.
Follow us for more:
Was Missionary Position – Everything You Need to Know post helpful?
You can also read other posts on our blog:
Explore all blog posts → BLOG
Frequently Asked Questions – FAQ
Is missionary position only for beginners?
No. Missionary is great for beginners because it is easy and natural, but many experienced couples still love it. The closeness, kissing, and eye contact make it a favorite even after years together.
How can we make missionary position feel better?
Small changes make a big difference. Put a pillow under the hips of the partner on the bottom, try different rhythms, use more lube, or add clitoral stimulation. These small upgrades can turn basic missionary into a deeply satisfying experience.
Can missionary position help a woman reach orgasm?
Yes, but it may need a little adjustment. Tilting the hips or adding a pillow can hit the G-spot. Adding clitoral stimulation with fingers or a toy during missionary can make orgasms much easier to reach.
Why do some people say missionary is boring?
Missionary can feel boring if you do it the exact same way every time. Change the pace, try eye contact, whisper to each other, or switch who is leading the rhythm. These small changes keep the position exciting.
Is missionary position good for emotional connection?
Yes. This position is perfect for intimacy because you are face-to-face, can hold each other, kiss, and share the moment fully. It is one of the best positions for couples who want to feel close during sex.
